A Comedian in my Pocket

I have nothing to blog about today, which means this is going to be an extremely random one.

My thought of the day: I really love funny people. Like, nothing makes my day more than laughing at someone who is truly witty. I have one of those laughs that is really polite unless I'm seriously laughing hard. Then, it's like silent and the only way you can tell I'm laughing is because my shoulders are shaking. I'm also borderline addicted to sarcasm, which is something I try to work at- but never happens. I love people who can just crack a joke when things get too serious. I think, if I could just keep a funny person in my pocket all day long it would bring so much additional happiness into my life... so basically, if you're 4 inches tall and really hilarious- hit me up, I'll gladly cart you around every day.

I also like pretending like I'm funny. Anyone who knows me REALLY well knows I tend to lean more towards the serious aspects of life. Not because I don't love to laugh, but because I would rather have a deep conversation than anything in the world. I am a hyper intellectual and would actually prefer reading alone than being with most people. Not always, but usually. BUT I love getting to know the depths of people. This is why, when I worked at Kanakuk, I was always the counselor the kids would come to with serious problems and deep questions, but most of the time when it came to just being crazy and hilarious they would migrate to Ally's cabin haha...(ally, you know this is so true too) Sometimes I forget to be light hearted and need a good kick. This is why my friends and family are so great...cuz most of them are literally hysterical. I LOVE calling Ally or Mere and just laughing my head off about something dumb, or skyping with Mel or calling mom and just hearing about all their craziness. It really puts life in perspective for me, and I learn more and more about how much I love laughter. However, when anyone ever tells me that I'm funny, it boosts my ego like 200%. For example, one of my friends told me I should get twitter so they could keep up with my funny witicisms all day, and I totally think they're full of it, but it still made me feel like a million bucks. Shallow much? YEP! Anyways, I like pretending I'm half as funny as the people in my life.

I'm trying to think of a good top 5 list of times I've laughed the hardest in my life, because for the first time since Camp Success started, I'm bored and have nothing to do. So:

1. Kabin searching 2008 (ally, please laugh at this, you know it was amazing) and honestly pretty much any time I hang out with Ally we end up laughing harder than I've ever laughed. "I miss the prickly whiskers of your young mustache" and "how your bellybutton was always deeper than the others" Not to mention when we found the jackpot- you know what I'm talkin about. We are always stirring up some sort of trouble, but literally it doesn't matter what we're doing, even if we are just sitting around I am usually crying laughing. The time we went to six flags and made videos while on roller coasters was a pretty good example of laughing til I cried numerous times per hour. But there are SO many more funny memories.

2. Looking at old high school friends blogs/facebooks with Meredith is always a gut buster. Usually, I end up unable to breathe for a few minutes, it's scary. I have this horrible un-Godly habit of making fun of people, but not in like really mean ways, just to lighten the mood usually. Most of the time it's one of my good friends I'm making fun of so I don't really feel badly about it. BUUUT sometimes it happens... and usually when I'm looking at old friends' facebooks or something with Meredith. Pretty much anything with Mere- like when we were in high school and made videos pretending we were canoeing to cheer camp. WHAAAAT?

3. I can't think of an exact instance, but pretty much any time I am in a serious gathering like a funeral, church, award ceremony, class, etc. where you're supposed to be super mature and quiet, I find something to laugh about until I turn blue from holding it in. It's always something that would never be funny in any other circumstance, but because I'm supposed to act mature it always ends up disastrous. The last time I can think of off the top of my head was like 5 days ago while in Neurology class. My friend Natalie got up to go to the bathroom and left her phone, and her b/f texted her.... and of course since I am the practical joker I picked up her phone and sent a bathroom related text to him pretending to be Natalie. Of course she comes in and reads it and just looks at me and smiles and I literally DIED laughing in the middle of class. SILENT class. It was one of those ones you try to hold in and then it ends up awkwardly making a really weird unnatural sound. Yep, good times. Also, my mom and I have had to vow to never sit next to each other in church since literally every time we do one of us ends up leaning over to say something funny and then we both end up almost peeing our pants and shaking the entire pew all the way across the sanctuary.

4. I think I would have to say Kanakuk term 3 my VERY first year when I had sweet 16 cabin with Paige and Courtney as my co's... gahhhhleeee I laughed so hard that 28 days. I mean whether it was Kiwi running through the cabin doing the veloceraptor with her hands through her shorts, making fun of Courtneys chewbacca smuggling, pranking the K-wet guys or laughing so hard with Paige and Court that we all literally collapsed on the bathroom floor, that term was the greatest thing ever. Of course all of my terms have been equally great, and I've gotta admit 3rd term is always hysterical, from Ally getting stank eye, to the adventures on the ropes course at K-wet when Darby ate leaves off the tree because she was so hungry, and I got a harness tanline from sitting on the screamer for 1.5 hours... BUT something about that first year just makes me laugh to even think about.

5. I'm gonna go ahead and say 90% of freshman year of college was spent doing the most ridiculous hilarious things. I just remember when literally 50 people would crowd into my tiny apartment until 2am playing never have I ever and riding my mountain bike down my stairs. Or when we two stepped in my kitchen for hours and then went outside and startripped. HILARIOUS. I miss freshman year!

6. Okay I'm gonna have to say a 6, because I have to include the time Michelle and I snuck into the concert at the Heart of Texas. HAHAHAHA watching precious innocent michelle sneak through those iron bars was a great memory.

7. I'm sorry, I can't stop. One of the no joke funniest days of my life HANDS DOWN was floating the Guadalupe river with Ally and Beef. OH MY GOSH. This weekend in general was hilarious, but floating the river was the greatest laughing moments of my life rolled into one day. First of all, someone REALLY ought to tell you that when you go down the tube chute, make sure you hold onto all articles of clothing for dear life/tie them onto your body because I lost my shorts to the river about 5 minutes into this escapade. THEN, I have the bright idea to go down the chute without a tube. AKA near death by drowning. The tube spits you out and then sucks you under for a GOOD almost 10 seconds until you seriously think "oh Lord, this is the end, forgive me for all my sins b/cuz I'm meeting you face to face today." Truly, life flashed before my eyes. Then, I finally came up thinking it was over and it sucked me under yet AGAIN. This is where I made a secret promise with God that if he let me live I would never go down the dang chute tubeless ever again. So I finally come up, thank God, tear up a little from happiness/fear, and find my tube. THEN, we begin to float again and apparently we missed the memo about "staying to the left" at the waterfall. OHHHH NO BIG DEAL, we just went right over the 4 foot waterfall. Everyone else went through this little mild baby tube chute, but not us. We get about a foot from the falls and I hear some guy say "Do they know that they aren't supposed to go over that?" at which point I look to my left and see the tube chute we are supposed to be going in. I immediately try to paddle backwards to no avail, and we all go crashing over the edge. Ally gets stuck under the falls because she cannot paddle out given that shes trying to hold her camera over her head with one hand in its "waterproof case" that was not waterproof at all. I float down the river and see my tube flipping itself over and over again under the falls. I'm screaming "ally! Grab my tube!" of course ally is half drowning so she cannot hear me and there is no way to get to her. Finally she dislodges herself and manages to grab my tube after yelling something to me along the lines of "okay megan I'll get your dang dube after I finish drowning!" in a kind of ticked off voice. Then, later when we were exiting the river, ally goes to get her tube out of the water and me and beef realize ally's top is completely off and she is full out flashing everyone. I about drowned for the 3rd time that day because I fell into the water laughing hysterically. Ally grabs herself and gets her suit and covers herself only to cap off the legit funniest day of my life. And that's a good way to wrap up my list I think.

Man, I've had so much fun in my life- my friends are AWESOME beyond awesome. God is so good to give us the gift of laughing at ourselves. =)

"It is the heart that is not yet sure of its God that is afraid to laugh in His presence."
-George McDonald

Thoughts From a Really Tired Grad Student...

So I am horrible at this blogging thing, but really (Ally) I'm trying to get better at it. I will say that there is something really nice about typing out the way I feel though. So, as a spin off Ally's seasons of life blog, I have some thoughts of my own.

First of all, let me say that I am so ridiculous sometimes when it comes to remembering how faithful the Lord has been in all seasons. I think back to SO many moments when the Lord was so inexplicably close to my heart and so visible to me, and I wonder how I could ever forget it for even a second. I am so like Israel. I watch God part the Red Sea in my life time and time again-so visible, so tangible- and then things get a little uncertain and I wonder if God is still around. Would someone just punch me in these moments and be like, "HEY- your manna is coming so stop the whining!"

I remember so many different seasons where I heard the Lord and his voice in my heart, felt his guidance and his hand directing things, and even witnessed miracles. I felt in those moments like there would never be another time that I doubted God's firm hand in my life. Oh Lord, forgive my doubt. I forget you so quickly.

I have grown so drastically in the past few years, and have learned so much about myself. I truly believe that college has this way of bringing out the worst in you so that you can break and realize the desperate need for Jesus. It definitely did that for me. When I was in high school I thought I had everything figured out. I was that kid who everyone would say was "so mature" and what not- but I was lying to myself. There was no maturity; maybe there was a false sense of wishing for maturity, but there was so much more (and still remains so much more) to be done. I was arrogant at times because I would talk about how others didn't have it "all together" and what they should do to fix that. MAN the Lord humbled that right outta me. I realized that no matter who you are, one glance away from the savior and you will become someone you hate. This, I believe is what Paul means when he says this:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15

We are all human, and we have these crazy human desires that can only be offset by humbling ourselves and breaking at the foot of the cross.

This season in my life has been completely new to me. The Lord has been purifying so many things in my life, and has been challenging me like I have never been challenged before. First of all, I'm in grad school at Baylor trying my best to help children to learn the things they need to know to be able to read. It sounds so small, but it's so important. I think about my own love for reading and I wonder what joy I would be missing out on if I was unable to pick up a book and comprehend what it said. I've loved to read since I was 4 years old- literally flying through every book I could get my hands on- and I wonder how anyone could go through life without the precious gift of written words. So I'm trying my best to really teach all this stuff, while at the same time not really having a clue how to go about it. I want so badly to make a difference in these little lives. I want the Lord to use me to plant seeds that will grow in time. I am striving for this ultimate goal of bringing glory to the God in my professional career, and it's hard.

Most days I go home exhausted, and a little discouraged. But then I wake up and it's like the Lord breathes new energy into me every morning that I can't explain. It's like he's giving me an extra measure of grace; carrying me through this period of time that I am stumbling through like an infant. I love my God for this. I love him so deeply for carrying me so well. He never gives up on me!!

I have also learned through these 4 years that life is all about perspective. If I choose to believe something is bad- it will be bad. If I choose to see things through Jesus' eyes, it is always a blessing. Even the worst of times are wonderful when you look at it through his eyes. There is an epic reason for why he allows what he allows, and the more I look back at my life and see the interworkings of his hands, I trust him more. Lord thank you for not making life what I want it to be.

He is so faithful in every season. He is so good at pruning us. I am so thankful for his love that will not allow me to stay in one place! I am so thankful for the people that he has given me to walk with through this journey. I am so grateful that he is teaching me what it feels like to delight in him alone. Thank you Jesus for this time that you are growing me closer to your heart. I love being nearest to you- I love resting in you and your peace when I am at the end of my rope. I would rather be in these hard and breaking situations every day of my life than to have an easy life and forget my need for you. Send more my way Lord, so that I can learn more and become more like you. Teach me to be faithful in the little things. Show me what it really means to love like you have loved me. Let me live separately from this world and all its lies- that I would be able to discern what is right from what is not. Break my selfishness. Tune my heart to yours so that I never stop hearing your voice! I LOVE you.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

If hell had a name it would be Neill Morris Hall.

I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had time to really even breathe normally. I started speech pathology graduate school June 1st, and let me just give a brief rant, although I know no one wants to hear this- it will just make me feel a miniscule amount better about this week.

Tuesday we walked in and received our client names, and let me just preface this by saying we got a confusing email that made us believe class started at 9. However- OHHH NO, it started at 8! We found this out Tuesday morning at 7:59 when our professor sent an email saying "just so you girls remember, class starts in ONE minute, and you aren't here!"

FAIL.

"Hey I'm Megan, the girl who you let into your program who can't show up on time to day one! I'm sure this is a great impression!"

Anyways, luckily most of the rest of the class was confused to, so we didn't get in trouble at all.

So, we sit in this "informative meeting" where basically, we had about a semesters worth of information on language and literacy shoved down our throat in 3 hours. Every like 6th word out of my teachers mouth might as well have been greek. The teacher says something about PSI about 7 times, so I figure this acronym must be important. I look over at my precious roommate Megan and ask her "Megan, what is PSI?" she picks up her notebook where on the top she has written "ask about PSI", points to it and we both laugh cuz this is such a joke.

Then, the teachers explain to us that we are some poor disordered childs "last hope." Let me just tell you, this was about the last thing I wanted to hear. I don't know the first thing about a disordered child, how to read a file, how to determine disorder from test scores of random standardized tests, or how to convert any of that information to therapy- yet I'm this kid's ONLY HOPE? Awesome, well my kids better kiss their hopes for normalcy goodbye!!

Then, as if that's not bad enough, we are informed that our treatment plans and lesson plans for both of our clients are due TOMORROW. AKA- "megan I know you've never written a treatment plan or a lesson plan, and that both of those take hours and hours of time and knowledge to write, and I know that you dont even so much as know where the copy machine is in this building, not to mention the fact that you get out of class at 4:00 so you can't even start on this til 4:30 ish- but can you turn all this into me by 9am tomorrow? SURE!!!!!

Anyways, so far in this week's time I have pulled two all nighters, the first was so overwhelming that the next day when I sat down in class I just started newborn baby crying. Like not tearing up, not crying, SOBBING to the point where I can't catch my breath. I walk out of the room like an idiot crying, and my supervisor and two good friends follow me and proceed to remind me that it's okay because everyone has cried this week. Ha, such a joke...

Last gripe of the day- our building, OHHH poor Neill Morris Hall is on his last legs. We have no windows in our building, making it a fluorescent light cave. I hate fluorescent lighting. I am all about the sun, natural lighting, etc- and this building is like the gloomiest place on earth. Not to mention the therapy rooms are like closets. They are so small that you can barely walk around once you put a table in it. The floors of the building are uneven and cracked because of the cracked foundation, and there is always a line a mile long for the copy machine given that we have to run the whole building off one copier. This week, it's a gloomy building full of depressed people who are sleep deprived and frustrated.

BUT I have to say, now that I've gotten my THIRD draft of treatment plans and lesson plans done, and my pre-test report done, I can take a deep breath and actually have fun with my clients.

The first day I was absolutely petrified. Like, I couldn't put a sentence together for the first couple minutes. ohhh great Megan, you're their SPEECH THERAPIST and you can't get a sentence out. Anyways, the kids are cute. I really love them, and after day two, I think they actually like me too. Not that its an extreme feat- you pretty much have to be the wicked witch of the west before a kid won't like you. But for some reason I was so scared about this. It's so funny how much I worry about things that are SO beyond my control. I cannot fathom why I am so quick to forget how plentiful God's provision always is.

I actually had my supervisor come up to me today and tell me that she watched my therapy and was astounded that it was my second day of therapy. She said there were no words she had to correct anything I was doing, but that she just sat there with her mouth gaping open wondering how I knew to do certain things. I'll say right now, it wasn't me. It was like the Lord just opened my eyes to things to do with these kids. My little girl ran up to me today and gave me a HUGE hug and said "you are my favorite megan out of all the megans." haha? I don't know what that means or if thats a big deal (She probably knows like ONE other megan) but it made me smile. My little boy told his dad he had "so much fun today." I heaved a sigh of relief and smiled to myself. THANK YOU Jesus for wrapping me up in your arms today.